Holiday Spending: Decisions That Actually Matter

The holidays are expensive. Gifts, travel, gatherings—costs pile up, often beyond what you planned or can comfortably afford.

Every spending decision is a choice about what matters. Here's how to make those choices more consciously.

The Pressure Is Real

Social pressure, marketing, and expectations make overspending easy. You don't want to seem cheap. You don't want to disappoint. You want to create memorable experiences.

All valid feelings. And also: spending money you don't have to meet expectations that don't serve you isn't actually generous. It's self-destructive.

A Framework for Holiday Spending

1. Know your number. What can you actually afford to spend this season without stress or regret? Not what you'd like to spend—what you can spend without financial harm. That's your ceiling.

2. Prioritize ruthlessly. Not everyone gets an expensive gift. Not every event needs to be extravagant. Decide in advance where your limited money goes.

3. Separate expectation from desire. Some spending is genuinely what you want. Some is obligation or guilt. Learn to tell the difference. You can choose to meet expectations, but do it consciously.

4. Value presence over presents. This is cliché because it's true. Time, attention, and thoughtfulness often mean more than expensive gifts.

The Decisions Within the Decision

Spending isn't just "how much." It's also:

• What form? Gifts? Experiences? Donations in someone's name?
• For whom? Where do your resources create the most joy?
• Why? Love? Obligation? Guilt? Performance?

Clarity on these questions makes individual spending decisions easier.

Permission to Opt Out

You can:

• Suggest a spending cap for gift exchanges
• Propose drawing names instead of buying for everyone
• Skip exchanges entirely and just spend time together
• Choose not to attend expensive events

These feel socially risky. But most people are secretly relieved when someone suggests dialing it back. The norms exist because nobody wants to be first to challenge them.

Be first. You might be doing everyone a favor.

After the Holidays

If you've overspent in past years, what's your plan for January? Bills arriving after the fact are part of the decision.

This isn't meant to add guilt—just awareness. Spending decisions have consequences that extend beyond the moment.

The Real Question

What do you want the holidays to be about? If the answer is connection, generosity, and presence, there are many ways to achieve that. Not all of them cost money.

Decide what you're trying to create. Then spend (or don't) in service of that.