HealthUpdated Jan 2026

Should I Start Therapy? A Values-Based Decision Framework

You've been thinking about therapy but can't decide if you really need it. Maybe things aren't bad enough. Maybe you should be able to handle this yourself. The stigma, cost, and vulnerability of opening up to a stranger all create resistance, even as you sense it might help.

Key Takeaway

This decision is fundamentally about Mental Wellbeing vs. Self-Understanding. Your choice will also impact your relationship improvement.

The Core Values at Stake

This decision touches on several fundamental values that may be in tension with each other:

Mental Wellbeing

Your overall psychological health and quality of life. Consider whether you're functioning well or just getting by.

Self-Understanding

Your desire to understand your patterns, reactions, and inner life. Therapy offers structured space for this exploration.

Relationship Improvement

How therapy might improve your connections with others. Personal growth often translates to better relationships.

Stigma and Vulnerability

Your comfort with seeking help and being vulnerable. Recognize that seeking help is strength, not weakness.

Practical Concerns

The time and cost investment of therapy. Consider whether these are genuine barriers or convenient excuses.

5 Key Questions to Ask Yourself

Before making this decision, work through these questions honestly:

  1. 1Am I functioning the way I want to, or am I just surviving?
  2. 2Have I been struggling with the same issues repeatedly without progress?
  3. 3What has prevented me from trying therapy before—stigma, cost, or something else?
  4. 4What would I hope to gain or change through therapy?
  5. 5Am I willing to do the uncomfortable work that therapy requires?

Key Considerations

As you weigh this decision, keep these important factors in mind:

Your current level of functioning and distress
Whether you've tried to address issues without success
Insurance coverage and financial resources
Your willingness to be vulnerable and do the work
Finding the right type of therapy and therapist fit
Time commitment for regular sessions
Your support system and other resources

Watch Out For: Self-Sufficiency Bias

We often believe we should be able to handle things ourselves, viewing therapy as admitting weakness. But seeking professional help for mental health is no different than seeing a doctor for physical health. The belief that you should handle everything alone is itself often a pattern worth examining in therapy.

Make This Decision With Clarity

Don't just guess. Use Dcider to calculate your alignment score and make decisions that truly reflect your values.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if I need therapy?
Consider therapy if: you're struggling with persistent difficult emotions, your coping mechanisms aren't working, relationships suffer from your patterns, you've experienced trauma, or you simply want to understand yourself better. You don't need to be in crisis—therapy is also for growth and optimization.
How do I find the right therapist?
Ask for referrals from your doctor or trusted friends. Use directories like Psychology Today to filter by specialty, insurance, and approach. Schedule consultations with 2-3 therapists—fit matters more than credentials. If it doesn't feel right after a few sessions, try someone else.
How long does therapy take?
It varies widely. Some people benefit from 8-12 sessions for specific issues. Others find ongoing therapy valuable for years. Many people do intensive work for a period, then check in periodically. Discuss goals and timeline with your therapist—good ones won't keep you dependent.
Is therapy worth the cost?
For most people who commit to it, yes. The cost of untreated mental health issues—in relationships, career, and quality of life—often far exceeds therapy costs. Many therapists offer sliding scales, and insurance increasingly covers mental health. Consider it an investment in your wellbeing.

Related Decisions

Should I Leave a Toxic Job?

You dread going to work. Maybe it's a bullying boss, a culture of fear, or colleagues who undermine you. But you question whether you're being dramatic, worry about looking like a job-hopper, and fear not finding something better. The toxicity has you doubting your own judgment.

Should I End a Relationship?

You find yourself cycling through doubt—some days certain you should leave, others wondering if you're throwing away something valuable. The fear of making the wrong choice in either direction keeps you stuck. You wonder if relationships are supposed to be this hard, or if you're not trying hard enough.

Should I Quit Drinking?

You're questioning your relationship with alcohol. Maybe it's become a crutch, maybe you're concerned about health, or maybe you're just curious what life without it would be like. But social norms, habit, and uncertainty about whether you have a 'real problem' make the decision complicated.

People Also Considered

Similar decisions in other areas of life:

Quit My JobBuy or Rent a HomeMove to a New City

Sources

  • Shedler, J. (2010). The efficacy of psychodynamic psychotherapy. American Psychologist.doi:10.1037/a0018378
  • Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The Efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: A Review of Meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research.doi:10.1007/s10608-012-9476-1
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